


Words Like Violence

by auroradawn9669



Series: Cry Little Sister [3]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Brief suicidal thought, Domestic Violence, Erica Sinclair is sassy, F/M, Homophobia, Hurt Max, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Abuse, Sexism, Sibling Abuse, Threats of Violence, Verbal Abuse, lots of slurs, physical violence, typical time period attitudes about rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 02:40:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14227317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auroradawn9669/pseuds/auroradawn9669
Summary: Nothing was going to be fine.But it was okay.Max was great at pretending.





	Words Like Violence

**Author's Note:**

> So this one deals more with some of the ways Max tries coping with what Billy's doing to her, and the impact careless, casual conversations and opinions can have on a victim of abuse.

It took almost three days for her voice to return all the way back to normal. It was easy enough to explain away as some bug going around school. Her mom and stepdad never really thought twice about it even though she exhibited no other symptoms aside from her strained vocal chords. Every time she said anything around Billy for those three days, he’d looked at her and smirked and she’d felt like throwing up.

The only ones who’d seemed to notice anything off about her were, of course, her friends. Specifically Lucas and Will, and to her surprise -- Eleven. The girl hadn’t said a word but she kept watching Max with her dark eyes, like she _knew_ something was going on, and while she obviously didn’t know what it was exactly, it was clear she didn’t like it and Max found herself feeling more uneasy around the mage than she had in a long time. 

Her mother and Neil poured themselves a glass of wine with dinner Friday evening, the world news playing in the corner on the small tv that was set on the kitchen counter. 

“And in other news tonight, the controversial rape trial featuring a high school girl who’d been drinking the night she claims to have been raped by two of her school’s football team has recanted part of her testimony.” 

Her stepdad made a disgusted sound and Max pushed her food around on her plate with her fork. “She’s already ruined their reputations and now she’s taking it back? It’s no wonder you can’t trust someone when they say they’ve been raped. Men really have to watch their backs. PIss off the wrong bitch and you end up getting accused of rape.” 

She could feel Billy’s eyes on her but she didn’t look up. She held her breath, though, waiting to hear her mother’s response. 

“Such a shame, but eventually karma will get her,” her mother agreed with a sigh. “This is a depressing topic for dinner.” She wrinkled her nose and scooped more green beans onto her plate. 

Her heart sank at the words, but she tried to reason with herself. 

After all. She had no way of knowing that her stepson’s cum was currently drying between Max’s thighs.

***

Saturday at least gave her a chance to escape her house and Billy, and she took off early in the morning with her skateboard, riding down the street, wind whipping her hair behind her, riding all the way to Lucas’ house without pausing the entire way there. She slowed to a stop in front of his house, though, lifting her hand to wave at Erica, who was sitting on the porch.

Erica waved back as Max picked up her board and headed up the sidewalk. “He’s still in bed,” she told her with an eye roll. 

“That’s okay,” she told her with a shrug, moving to sit down beside her on the porch steps. “Why are you up so early?” 

“Saturday morning cartoons,” she said with a ‘well, duh’ expression. “But right now it’s Pink Panther and I don’t care about that. I’m here for The Littles.” 

“That’s a good one,” Max agreed, tucking some hair behind her ear. 

Erica looked at her for a moment, studied her like she was trying to figure something out. “You can watch with me if you want.” 

The offer caught her a bit off guard, but a tiny smile tugged at her mouth. “Yeah? Okay. I’d like that.” 

“We gotta be quiet cause my mom and dad are still sleeping too.” 

Max considered that, watching Lucas’ younger sister from the corner of her eye. “Have you had breakfast yet?” 

“No, I wanted pancakes but I’m not allowed to touch the stove because I --” She used air quotes. “‘Might burn down the kitchen.’” 

She tried not to laugh at the eye roll from the nine year old. “Well. I cook at home sometimes, and I’ve never burned down a kitchen. _And_ I know how to make pancakes. I’m willing to give it a shot if you’d like.” 

Her eyes lit up. “For real?” 

“Yeah. You can even help. What do you say?” She arched her eyebrows at the younger girl, waiting for a response.

“I say heck _yeah_.”

Erica jumped to her feet while Max stood up a little more slowly, leaving her board on the porch and following the younger girl into the house and then into the kitchen. She’d been to the Sinclair’s plenty of times in the last year. Sometimes it felt a little surreal to eat a meal with them because they were so _normal_. They didn’t call each other names or throw things at one another, and they held actual conversations and every time she was there, she’d get so caught up in what was going on around her, she’d almost forget about her own shitty life. 

Lucas was incredibly lucky. 

Max had spent so much time there in the last few months in fact, that she knew her way around the kitchen like she actually lived there. In no time at all, she’d gathered all the ingredients needed for homemade pancakes. She never did this at home anymore because - fuck that. She wasn’t going to cook for Neil, and she _definitely_ wasn’t going to cook for _Billy._

But she had no issues cooking for Lucas’ family. They’d been welcoming and good to her right from the beginning. She’d been sure back then that they wouldn’t like her, that they would meet her and decide Lucas was too good for her (which she already _knew_ ), but that hadn’t happened. No, instead they’d opened their house to her anytime she showed up on their doorstep, whether or not it was a planned visit. 

No one - literally _no one_ \- could do that at her house, with her family. An unexpected visitor would cause trouble - for themselves and for whoever they had come to see. Aside from Lucas one time early on, none of her friends had ever been to her house, and she’d made sure they understood that it had to stay that way. Her family wasn’t like any of their families. 

“Where’d you learn to make pancakes? From your mom?” Erica asked, bringing Max out of her thoughts as she went through the motions of preparing breakfast with the younger girl at her side. 

“My dad, actually,” she told her with a faint smile. “Before my parents got divorced a few years ago.” 

“Your dad cooks?” Erica’s eyes went wide and a short laugh escaped Max before she could help it. 

“Yeah, my dad cooks. He’s a really good cook actually.” She glanced down at Erica, expression fond.

“My dad grills sometimes but I don’t think he even knows how to turn on the stove.” 

She barely managed to stifle a grin. “Does Lucas?” 

Erica rolled her eyes. “ _No._ He’s not allowed to either.” 

Well, she hoped _she_ wasn’t going to be in trouble for touching Mrs. Sinclair’s stove without permission. But considering she was already pouring batter into the pan, she supposed it was too late to worry about it. She’d just have to be careful and clean up when she was done and hopefully there wouldn’t be any issues.

Twenty minutes later, she was setting a plate of pancakes and bacon on the table for Erica when she glanced up to see Lucas frozen in the kitchen entrance, looking somewhere between surprised and confused. 

“Morning,” she greeted, hint of uncertainty in her voice.

“Morning,” he responded, looking from her to the pancakes and blinking. “You fixed breakfast for my sister?” 

“Well...I fixed breakfast.” She motioned to the plate stacked with pancakes on the counter, and the dish beside it full of hot bacon. 

“Holy crap,” he mumbled, eyes going wide. 

“You’re supposed to say _thank you_ ,” Erica said matter-of-factly before sticking a huge bite of pancake in her mouth.

Lucas shot her a look and the younger girl smirked at him as she chewed her food. His gaze shifted back to Max. “This is amazing,” he told her with a grin. “You’re amazing.” 

Her cheeks grew warm at the compliment, and she rolled her eyes. “Fill your plate, Stalker.” 

He stepped closer to her, wrapping his arms around her in a hug and she closed her eyes, exhaling slowly and winding her arms around him, too. The world may be full of guys like Billy Hargrove, but there were others, like Lucas, who helped make up for it. She held onto him tightly, not wanting to let go, because right then she felt safe. Alive. 

“You okay?” he murmured after a moment, though he made no move to let her go. 

Her throat ached with the urge to tell him the truth. Instead she swallowed it down. “Yeah. I’m fine.” 

***

Max managed to avoid Billy part of the weekend, by staying out of the house for the biggest part of it. Her mom had encouraged her to spend time with her friends because she was excited that Max _had_ friends, even if she’d probably never meet any of them. She spent most of the day Saturday at Lucas’ house with his family, who’d been impressed and appreciative by her impromptu breakfast. She’d stayed there long past dinner time, playing board games with Erica and Lucas, and later video games with Lucas in his room, their legs pressed together as they’d sat side by side playing _Frogger_. 

Sunday she was up and out of the house just as early as she had been the day before, but this time she’d headed for the Byers’ house. Will was an early riser even if Max wasn’t usually, and he’d been more than a tad surprised to see her on the porch with her bookbag in hand, ready to work on homework for the week. They’d worked together in companionable silence for nearly two hours before Joyce had rolled out of bed, looking as surprised to see her as Will had been. 

She’d immediately set about fixing omelettes for everyone and wound up scrapping them into the garbage when they’d ended up burning up. Disappointed, she had suggested a trip to Waffle House, which Will eagerly agreed to. Max knew they didn’t go out to eat very often due to the tight budget and she felt guilty tagging along with no money of her own to pay for a meal. By the time they actually make it to the Waffle House, she wished she’d refused because Billy and a couple of his friends - Tommy and Carol - were sitting together in a booth a couple tables away from the waitress seated them. 

“Maybe we should go somewhere else,” Will murmured, eyes cutting to where Billy sat, arm around the back of the booth as he stared at them while his mom went to the bathroom. 

Max was tense, heart beating a little faster in her chest as she refused to look over at him. “No. It’s fine. He won’t bother us.” That much she felt sure of. As far as her friends knew, Billy was still on his best behavior under threat of a nail bat to his nuts. She didn’t want them to think anything was out of the ordinary. _Couldn’t_ let them think it. If they started to suspect something wasn’t right, Lucas would be in danger. 

“You sure? There are other places that serve breakfast.” 

She could hear the unease in his voice and she reached out, squeezing his arm lightly. “It’s fine, Will.” It wasn’t fine. And she knew it wasn’t going to be fine later when she was forced to be in the house alone with Billy again the next time. Or in his car the following morning on the way to school. 

Nothing was going to be fine. 

But it was okay. 

Max was great at pretending. 

***

By the time Sunday evening rolled around she reluctantly returned home, her heart sank as she realized her stepdad’s car wasn’t in the driveway. The second sign that things were going to be bad was that music was blaring from the house. Slayer. _Hell Awaits._ Appropriate, she thought miserably, staring at the house for a moment. 

She put her board back down on the pavement, deciding she’d just ride back toward town, see if she could hang out with Dustin for awhile or something. Just until her mom and Neil got home from wherever they’d gone - out to dinner, she assumed.

Except Billy now stood in the opened door, glaring at her, shirt unbuttoned and cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He said nothing and she stood frozen, staring back at him and trying to decide what to do. Finally she lifted her chin ever-so-slightly and got back on her board, skating away from the house and down the road without looking back. 

***

By the time Max returned to the house again that night, her mom and stepdad were back, thankfully. She only saw Billy once that evening, as she headed to bed for the night, locking the bedroom door behind her. It wasn’t much, but she didn’t think he’d attempt to break in when his dad was just down the hall and happened to be a light sleeper. 

She was safe for the night. 

Morning came all too quickly, though, and she struggled to sleep, waking at every slight noise - a rustle outside the window (wind blowing dead leaves around), a creak in a distant corner of the house (the house settling because it was old), the sound of the heater kicking on and off periodically. By the time she got up to get ready for school, she felt like she hadn’t slept at all. She dressed in her usual clothes: jeans, sneakers, t-shirt and red hoodie.

She managed to drag herself to the table for a bowl of cereal even though she wasn’t hungry and her dread was quickly growing. All too soon it was time to force herself to get into the passenger side of Billy’s camaro, every muscle in her body tense as she clutched onto her skateboard with one hand and her bookbag with the other. She didn’t turn her head to look at him when he got into the driver’s seat. 

To her surprise, he didn’t say anything to her until they were almost to school. Then he broke the blessed silence. “So how was your weekend?” His voice was way too casual and alarm bells began to go off in her mind. 

Max still didn’t look at him. “Like you care,” she muttered.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, Max. I care very much what kind of trouble my little sister gets into.” 

“ _Step_ -sister,” she corrected, jaw tightening slightly. 

He went on, completely ignoring her. “You’re my responsibility, so whatever trouble your stupid ass gets wrapped up in is _my_ problem.” His voice was sharp as he turned his head to glare at her.

“I didn’t _get_ into any trouble,” she snapped, unable to stop herself. It was a mistake because without warning, Billy reached out and grabbed her by her hair, yanking it hard and pulling her toward him as a soft, pained cry escaped her.

“Watch your fuckin’ mouth,” he growled, pressing his foot down hard on the gas pedal. His grip on her hair tightened as he tugged on it harder. 

Tears sprang to her eyes and it was all she could do not to lash out, not to try and punch him or struggle because she knew him well enough to know that wouldn’t end well for her. It never did. She bit down hard on her lip, leaning into the grip in an attempt to loosen his hold on her. 

“Shit’s gonna change, Maxine.” He shoved her away from him with as much force as he’d gripped onto her and she winced as her arm banged up against the car door. “A whole lot of shit. You better prepare yourself for that.” His hands wrapped around the wheel tightly, jaw clenching. 

Max struggled to hold back tears because _fuck him_ , she didn’t want to cry anymore because of him. Didn’t want him to have that power over her, that satisfaction. 

“We’re gonna start with your clothes.” 

She didn’t know what he was talking about, expression somewhere between contempt and confusion. 

“You got any idea what guys say about you at school?” He glanced at her, shooting her a disgusted look. “That my stepsister’s probably a goddamned dyke.” 

The words stung even though they shouldn’t, logically. It wasn’t the first time someone had said something like that about her. Hell, that had been a rumor in California. She never bothered to confirm or deny it because she didn’t _care_ , but people didn’t really mock her for it either. They were just...curious. Hawkins was not California. 

“I wonder it myself sometimes.” He looked over at her again, thinly veiled suspicion in his eyes. “You prefer pussy, Maxine? You can tell me.” 

“Go to hell,” she responded evenly. 

He chuckled. “Yeah. I think you do. I don’t blame you.” He reached over and squeezed her knee and she shrank away from him the best that she could, pressing herself up against the door, briefly contemplating reaching for the door handle and jumping out. Her heart began to beat faster in her chest. “Thing is, Max, doesn’t matter how much you like it, you’re not gonna fuck up my life anymore than you already have. So you’re gonna stop dressing like a fucking _lesbian_ and start acting like a normal girl because I’m tired of hearing people run their mouth about my shit head little stepsister.” 

Billy tightened his grip on her knee. “You’re going to do exactly what I say because the next time you don’t, I won’t just take things out on _you_. Are we clear?” 

Max felt her throat tighten at the threat. 

“I asked you a question.” He pulled the car into the parking lot of the high school and he turned his head to stare at her, blue eyes intense. 

“We’re clear,” she whispered. 

“Good. Don’t make plans after school today. I’ve already made some for us.” His voice was all too casual as he turned off the engine of his car. 

She wished she’d jumped out of the car when she’d had the chance. “Fine.” She reached for the door handle and he let go of her knee. 

“Have a great day, Maxie,” Billy said with a smirk as he watched her. 

Max scrambled out of the car, slamming the door shut behind her and fleeing into the safety of the school.

**Author's Note:**

> This one was a bit different, obviously, as it's the first fic I've written that was entirely from Max's POV. I struggled with her voice a bit but I hope I did her justice. I hope the next one won't take quite as long to write - ironically I wrote two more already in this series but they don't occur til toward the end of the series so I'm all over the map with this, I guess. Sorry for the lengthy wait!


End file.
